So as I may have mentioned before, my Master and I have opened our marriage. I had met a few guys to see if they would be a good fit for me, but most set my anxiety into full gear; and lets face it, anything that causes anxiety is never any good. Well....I have picked the one I want and who wants to please me in the ways I need satisfied. My Master does satisfy me. Let’s get that straight right now, but my second Dominate leaves what I call “beauty marks”.
He has shown me that he RESPECTS me. Let’s talk about a big way Dominates show RESPECT...Say you have both agreed to a scene or meet up. However you want to look at it. I look at it as hanging out lol. So one day my friend with benefits came over and I was still new to the open marriage idea. I felt like it was a trap every time. Even with PERMISSION from my Master, I still felt like it was wrong. There are still days where I feel it is wrong. Well one day I ended up using my safe word because my anxiety was all boom I’m back b***h!!! Ugh it was hell for me in my head that day and I’m not sure why it happened, but all the sudden I said the safeword and he stopped. He stopped everything and tried to make sure I was okay. A Dominate who cares is a true Dom. Of course with the mind set I was in I pushed him out and away for a bit. He still messaged me and we talked. I kept him at a distance for about three weeks before he figured out what was going on in my mind. I will admit I do love that we can talk, It is good to be able to talk to your dominate’s.
Yes, I am now putting the “friend with benefits/playmate” as a Dominate (Dominant #2). I don’t do this lightly either and he and I have made it clear that our families will ALWAYS come first. Honestly, I expect nothing less, but will very much enjoy the time I do get with him. I want to talk about today because today we talked about how I was offered a chance to get spanked while bent over a bench. You are probably asking and thinking...Why in the world would you want to be spanked?!?!? Two words...stress reliever. Lol. No joke though. BDSM is NOT about pain though! Let’s make that perfectly clear. Anyways...we chatted and he asked me “Are you going to go?” First though “that’s a freaking trick question!!!” Last time I played with someone without telling him, he told me he was hurt. I didn’t tell him though. That was my biggest oops. Won’t ever make that oops again. I was honest with him though about this and did tell him that the bench had excited me, but then I had admitted to having a small “string” attachment. I thought for sure he was going to cut me or put more time between our visit. Instead he told me we could build a bench; and that made me happy. Not only would I still get the experience and the spankings, but I would get to have the experience with someone I know and TRUST. Getting me to TRUST is already hard. We also agreed if drama happened on either side we would put a stop to us as well.
When another man is willing to earn your trust, have patience with you, learn your likes and dislikes, respects boundaries and limits, one who gives you space when you need it, one who is willing to give you what you need is on worth giving a shot to. This one is also willing to check in on me and the kids while my Master is out of state; for a visual that all is okay. Normally that wouldn’t be allowed, but my Master TRUSTS Dominant #2.
Thank you Master and Dominate #2 for being patient with me. You are both great men
