Memories...

Thanksgiving has ended and Christmas is almost here. For my birthday I put my Christmas tree up. No decorations. Just the tree. Yesterday I had the idea to put pictures on my tree with pictures of my little family and friends. Today while sitting next to my tree by my window I looked over and see a picture of my sweet angel and started crying. The holidays are confusing. I have great people that I get to celebrate the holidays with and all and I've cooked plenty of food, but I don't have my oldest daughter to share it with. So my heart breaks and hurts. I miss her so much. I learned to love again because of her. I hold myself back from having fun not sure if it is okay for me to have fun. I just wish i could share all these happy moments with her. She would love this time of year. Where the leaf color changes, winds are a little bit chilly, lights are staying to be put up and houses are being decorated...I mean who wouldn't love this time of year. She would love the new house and yard. So many memories I wanna make with her and can't. Days like this I wish I was with her, but then the other kids wouldn't have their mom and I don't want that. I have great kids. They are a bit crazy, but I always tell them that normal is just a seeing on a washer machine. We have been through a lot and through hard times, but we are some how always okay. My angel may be in heaven, but my heart is always with her.

My husband was home for lunch and when he saw me starting to cry he got worried. He asked me what was wrong, but then saw the picture next to me and knew why I was crying. He moved closer to me in his chair and held me while I cried. He then went back to work after a little while. He is a good comforter. I know I can always count on him to be there. He is an amazing man and I am so happy to be with him.

Everyday I always look forward to him coming home. I look forward to spending time together. Or time together is always full of laughter and happiness. 

Anyways enjoy your time with your family and loved ones. Because memories are what we have to pass on

Moving

Don't you just love moving into a new place? We've were in the same place for five years. When our lease was up they wanted $2,400 for a town home with three bedrooms two baths. So we said no and moved in with my parents house for a few months. During the weekend of the eclipse we looked at a lot of houses and found the perfect house in the country and I just love it. It is still three bedrooms, two baths with a huge fenced yard. 

I'll still keep my job where I am at right now. I can't bring myself to leave my job since I have had many bosses in my time and just absolutely love the boys I have now. She works hard. She communicates with all her employees. If we ever need help she is there. If we are sad she does what she can to cheer us up. You don't find bosses like that often. She says if I ever tried to leave the store for another job that she would give me the worst reference ever that way she can keep me because I am such a hard worker and go above and beyond to get stuff done for haat, my shift and the store. I hope one day to be assistant manager, but I'm not about to take that job from one of my employees who is also my friend. We have grown this store to be family. We like how we can talk to each other and all be on the same page with what goes on at our store. 

My husband works hard to take care of our family. I've seen him happy, I've seen him stressed, but with where he is at now I see him happy more than anything. He works hard for the company he works for and likes all the guys on his team. 

Life right now is amazing...

#FeelingGood

23July2017

Today is the day after the new Pokémon go legendary Pokémon started being released and today I went out to try and get one of them. Well not only did I find two of the new legendary, but I had two chances to get two and I won the battles, but didn't catch either Pokémon. So now I am playing D&D at Fate & Fury. I am playing a half-wood elf sorcerer. There are a lot of people here today to play D&D. Looks like they are running two big groups today. Which is great. There are lots of new people and lots of regulars here. The games should be a blast. 

Later...

    So I was right...the game/group I played in was great....as we were all new to the game we had a blast. Then again every time I play I feel like I'm learning, but once I fall asleep I forget everything I learned. I'll admit it...my memory is not the best. I still try every week though. 

   Now we are back at the house and I gotta say today was very nice. No drama, no b.s., no mean things being said or heard. It is sad that today is my last Sunday off for a while. One of my co-workers gave her notice and so now we will look to hire another co-worker. We gotta hire 3 people. So far one has passed his training. Tuesday we start training our second hire. Hopefully she will workout. We shall see though. 

Surgery

Last Friday I went to Seattle for a biopsy in my jaw. So I got to Seattle and I remember signing papers and taking some pills for the surgery. After that I don't remember anything. I've tried calling the office and never get any phone calls back. They gave me no pain pills. Not even ibuprofen. So i called and they said if i drive back up there they would give me a narcotic. I told them I wasn't gonna drive 3 hours just for a narcotic. So I went to the hospitial and the gal doctor there didn't understand how the surgery place could discharge me and not give me any papers or antibiotics. So the hospitial gave me an antibiotic, a few hydros and naproxen. I got the Seattle people to send me ibuprofen. My bruise ous going away. People thought i was getting abused. I laughed because i have been there and would never poor up with it again and cried because laughing hurt so bad.  I am still on a liquid diet till the stiches are gone. Even talking hurts. I can't wait till it is all fully healed. I got sent home from work yesterday because i was so weak, tired and still in a lot of pain. Tomorrow we will try it again and see if i can make it through a whole shift.

11 June

It hasn't always been fun having a guy in my life till about 8 years ago...Almost eight years ago I re-met an amazing man who I first met the day I was born. Who knew that two women who were best friends in the United States Navy would see their first borns marry each other 20 something years later. Yes we met when growing up in the military, but when the military the Navy moved our Mom's to different sides of the states. My parents stayed on the West coast and his Mom and him got sent to the west coast. One day while surfing facebook I noticed that someone posted on my Mom's facebook page. I then asked how she knew my Mother and she told about how they were best friends in the Navy. Then she was telling about her kids and how old they were and all and how proud of them she was. Well when she was telling me about her oldest who was the same age as me and born in the same year. I then asked her if he had facebook or myspace. She said yes and told me how and where to find him. I then sent him a friend request saying "You don't know me, but our Mom's were each others birthing coaches when they were pregnant with us".  At this time he was serving in the United States Air Force and was stationed in Montana. We started chatting on facebook. Then we moved to phone calls. Our phone calls would go on for days. We would fall asleep with one another on the cell and since our sleep schedules were different at the time we would mute each other, but still keep one another on the phone. Back then he was working graveyard and I was on a normal schedule so at night I would try and stay awake as late as I could just to talk to him. After chatting for a few months we decided we should meet. So when he had a few days off he drove to Washington to see me and meet my girls. we also took a day to  make a day trip to meet my parents and siblings. Surprisingly my parents fell in love with him and were so happy to see me with a guy who truly was a man. After his military contract was over instead of re-enlisting he decided to move to Washington state to settle down with me. The day before our one year anniversary we went to get my oldest at the time for breakfast and found that she had passed away. I broke. I was hurt. I was confused. I was in shock. for the following year I tried pushing him away. Nobody needed the burdens I had. He still stayed with me though. Even through my depression. I thought for sure he would have left, but instead he stayed by my side and was there for me. We have been together through the real better or worse in the last few years, but somehow we are still together. I gotta say I couldn't be any happier that he chose to stay with me. He doesn't abuse me at all like my ex husband did. He doesn't lie to me. He shows me and all the kids what love, respect, and trust is. He makes me so happy. He spends time with me and enjoys it. We go out and do things together. Like hangout and play games like D&D and Pathfinder. Yeah he is a huge nerd and yeah it is rubbing off on me. I enjoy it though. I may not understand the games, but the time we get to spend together is what matters. Love and respect make a marriage and or relationships go far. Communication also makes a huge difference too. I have figured out who I really am. I figured out what I like. What I really like. He is amazing and treats me with so much respect. He is loyal to me and I am loyal to him. He isn't like any of the guys I had dated before that all cheated on me because I wouldn't sleep with them. These last almost 8 years have been amazing and I couldn't be any happier. I look forward to spending  many more years by my husband's side. :-)

Books and Movies...

Ever find that one author that you just can't get enough of and just don't want to put down? I have a few of those. I love Dean Koontz books, The Fifty Shades of Grey series,  and a few others. I love reading Dean Koontz books because I can always put myself into the book and feel like I am there. Yeah it may sound weird, but it is cool. My ex used to stalk me so when I read Dean Koontz I get a little paranoid. The last books I read by Dean Koontz were called "Your Heart Belongs to me" and "The Husband". They were amazing books. I very much enjoyed the Fifty Shades or Grey series too. Although the movies were really bad and I now have no hope for the third movie. The movies are nothing like the books. The first movie was missing so much and was just all wrong and the second movie was just all over the place. I really had high hopes for the movies, but have been very disappointed. I am someone who is picky about movies and books. The last few books I have read I swear the editor did not read all the way through because they missed a ton of spelling errors. It drove me crazy. Nobody likes books with spelling errors.

6.7.17...

Yesterday I started working my normal 11-5 shift. One of the co-workers yesterday hurt his arm. So he called out and there was no one who would cover his shift so I volunteered to cover his shift. So I worked 11am-2pm-ish and then 10pm-6am...Oh my goodness I enjoyed the shift so much, but there was just so much time where there was nothing to do so I got down on my hands and knees and scrubbed the floor. A family friend stopped by my work on their way to their job site. There was also another guy that came in around 3am and kept telling me that I am beautiful. Before he left he asked if I had a boyfriend. He was sweet, but far from my type. After he left I went back to work and scrubbed the floor some more. I stayed at work till 9am to help my boss. She wasn't feeling well this morning. I helped check in the deliveries and put most of it away. It was fun, but running on over 30 hours and no sleep is weird. I'll say that much. I think once I got back to the house I got about an hour of sleep. So hopefully tonight I will get a good night sleep. Well I better get off here and try and sleep after I finish watching America's Got Talent. Hope you all have a great night

Sad day...but ended with good news

Today we had to have our cat named Sam put down. We adopted him about 4 years ago. He was an amazing cat. He was 10 years old when we adopted him. We loved him from the day we met him. He was all black and had white spots on his paws. We don't know how we are going to tell our children.

Later...
   So I told the kids about our cat Sam. It broke their little hearts and they cried. It is hard losing something that was part of the family. Also I found out my Husband got a new job and will find out tomorrow when he starts. I am so excited for him. After today's crappy day though I am happy about the good news we got tonight about my husband getting the new job.

America's Got Talent...

So Yesterday America's Got Talent started up and Tyra Banks is the host. I think it is weird not having Nick for the host, but whatever. It is what it is. Howey is great, but I enjoy Simon the most. The second act was a comedian and he was so great. I really hope to see him go far in the competition, Some of the others were all...ummm...what the heck did I just watch? Hahaha...
One little gale was a ventriloquist. She is 12 now and did an amazing job. I was so glad to see her go through. The Sister and Brother dancing act wasn't bad either. Gotta say that the brother came a long ways to get his life back on track. Oh and that magic track...oh my goodness that was so cool!!! The guy who looked like Donald Trump was funny...I gotta say last night performances were great last night. So far it is turning out to be a great season :-)

Liars...

So I have a job. I'm a working woman. I am an adult. I'm pretty sure I work with adults too. Lately though I'm not so sure. I was working the other day and my boss had me go into her office. I went in  and sat down and then she starts talking telling me that someone  came in and told her that I was asking for them to pay me with sexual favors. My mouth dropped so fast and all that came to my mind was " what the heck!!!". I have never ever asked for sexual favors from anyone. Nor would I. I told her what she was told was a lie and that I have never said anything like that to anyone. Let's get something straight. I am not a cheater. Nor would I ever ask someone to pay me in any kind of favors. I love my job, but dang one thing I hate and is starting is drama and lies. Okay technically that ous two, but still. If you don't like me than tell me, but don't go spreading lies and making drama. I am a cool gal, but screw up with a lie and it won't be good.

Mother's Day...

I hope every mother who reads this has a great Mother's day. I for one have a mother I love dearly and who has done a great job raising me. Mother's carry us in their belly for 9 months, they are the first to give us kisses and show us what love is. They are the first to brush our hair. Their arms are the first ones to wrap around us. A mother's heartbeat is the first thing we ever hear. Love your mother's everyday and never forget everything they ever did for you.

Moving...

Tomorrow is the day we move. Again. I have had my share of fun here in Clark County. Now it is time to move to another county. So many friends have helped me pack today and more will come tomorrow to help us load the truck. I'll write more tonight. For now I gotta get back to packing.

Seizures

Waking up to your one of your children having seizures is scary.  One of my children had three seizures today.  Yes he is diagnosed with epilepsy and has been for a while now,  but still... every time he has one it scares me so bad.  Lucky tonight we had an amazing doctor for him at the hospital.  She did so many tests to rule everything out.  There were no infections found which is great news.  So the doctors upped his seizure medication.  She explained everything to me and answered all my questions.  It is great having doctors that care

Longest job

So ever since I got a job the longest job I was able to keep was for 3 months.  Two weeks ago I celebrated my 4th month at my new job. I have enjoyed it so much that time just flew by.

Also,  my Daddy is still cancer free since he completed his chemo. I am very happy for him.