Parenting and still living the lifestyle (Family First)

    

    Just because you are a parent doesn’t mean you can’t be kinky anymore. It doesn’t have to stop at all actually. 

    If you have children make sure to set routines. As a Submissive you should have your own routines, but with the children on a schedule and routine things can run a lot smoother. Not just for you, but also for your home. Especially if your children are school aged.  Making sure everyone gets a good amount of sleep so no one acts out the following day due to lack of sleep. If children don’t get enough sleep they can possibly run wold all day and let’s be honest...nobody wants kids running wild all day. The hours after the kids go to bed you can have time to yourself or time alone with you and your Sir. It’s your chance to do non-mom things, such as learning more about BDSM. We should always be trying to find out new information. 

    Maybe play quieter with each other when around the children. Maybe you are a screamer or a loud moaner...first of all that isn’t a bad thing at all. When around the kids you obvosly can’t be doing that and besides paddles and floggers can be rather loud at times depending on the intesnsity. Make a game out of it when you have to be quieter. Maybe when you and Sir are sitting side by side and he slides his hand on your lap and gives it a lil squeeze. Mhmmm...yup...enjoy it, but don’t moan out loud. Or perhaps your are kneeling beside Sir’s desk and he pulls your hair a little to give you a kiss...yup don’t moan...He’ll let you go and you gotta act calm and collective. Maybe you are washing dishes and Sir smacks your butt when walking by. I am sure he does that any time he passes you, but do you squeak, squeal, gasp, or make a sound out loud or do you keep it in your mind quietly and just enjoy it? Perhaps you are watching a movie together...Instead of talking hold your Sir’s hand and sqeeze 3 times to say I love you. It doesn’t disrupt the movie like whispering or talking would do and lets face it nobody likes being talked to when there is a movie on. 

    When you make it through the day that evening you could get a great reward. Maybe ypur kids went out to play in the yard while you recived your reward. Or maybe have them watch a movie and disappear quietly. Sneeking away always makes me feel like teenage sweethearts. Yup totally makes me gigglie just thinking about it. 

    You just gotta be smart if you are going to bring the lifestyle outside your bedroom. You can do all this even while in public. Once again you just gotta be smart. We will talk on how to move BDSM out of the bedroom. It takes time, but you gotta be smart

#YouGottaBeSmart

Listening...

    

         When you are with your Dominate all the multi-tasking stops! When he speaks he is the only one you are to listen to at that moment. When you have a Dominate you should ALWAYS give them your full attention. So many people these days are addicted to their phone worried they may miss something. Maybe you’re bored so you thought surfing it would be a great way to pass the time, but at the same time you’re missing out on the things around you. When I get bored I clean or pick up a book. 

    Lately I’ve been thinking about looking into the games Sir plays just to understand some of the things he talks about. It is always smart/wise to understand your Dominate’s likes and dislikesww

    Remember you have to be able to chat about random topics. If your Dom is a nerd I suggest looking to understand games that you know they enjoy playing. Or perhaps listen to podcasts you know they rather enjoy. 

   

    Maybe I’ll do a stream on Twitch sometime and we can even work through a game or two. Sometimes hands on is best way to go. Even if the games may frustrate us hahaha. I will admit Mario games are always my game of choice.

    We should always strive to understand our Dom’s and that way we can have smart intillectual conversations. It helps make us feel smart too. I am sure that brings a smile to your face knowing that you sound smart too.

    Be attentive when your Sir is speaking to you. Like I said earlier...give your Dominate your full attention, be attentive when your Sir is speaking to you...ALL the multitasking stops! Your mind has to end when he speaks. If you inturupt...it isn’t just rude, but disrecpectful to your Dom. Never speak out of turn. Always wait till your Dom is finished speaking before you speak. Or wait till you are given permission. When speaking with your Dom your responses should be affirmative or neutral, but with respect of course. 

    As a Submissive I recommend journaling your feelings for the day or week. However often you choose to write in your journal. I try to write daily, but that doesn’t always seem to happen and it is never in the same book twice. You can write your fantasies in it as well. No matter how crazy they may be. Everybody has a few dark fanities and if you say you never have you are a freaking liar. The more dirty minds that are put together the more dirty ideas can be put together. If you journaling your fantisies make sure to not leave out any details. Some Submissives let their Dom read them that way the Dom can understand their Submissive’s needs and desires. Sometimes the Dom will act out the desire/fantisies. It is okay to have desires. It is completly normal. Sometimes writting out our feelings, thoughts and desires is the best way we are able to express ourselves when it comes to us journaling about them.

    So when out and about or at home listen and give your full attention to your Dom. Not only will they be happy with you, but it could all end with a very satisfiying reward as well. I would hope you all enjoy being rewarded:-).

Punishments...

    Nope it isn’t as bad as you actully think. It can actully be quite fun if done properly. Let me remind you all that within the lifestyle everything done is within agreement. 

    Ever out in public with your Sir and he gives you a look because you did something wrong, out of line or what about that “I dare you” look??? Or maybe you did it on purpose just to be a brat and to get a reaction. What happened once you got home? Were you able to talk Sir out of the punishment or are you in for it when you get home?

  There are many kinds of punishments...Some fun some not fun

Lines: Make your Submissive write the same saying repeatedly for a certian amount of times. Normally it is at least 100 lines saying “I WILL NOT [FOBIDDEN ACTION]

Time Out: Make your Submissive stand/sit in a corner. Could even have them stand on their tip-toes with the tip of their nose against the wall and if she lowered feet before allowed time make time start over or spank and then send them back to start again. 

Spankings: I would go no more than 20 and even then that is pushing it. Other’s could be canning and or paddling. Evn then it depends on the tool being used and the impact. Have the Submissive count out each whipping and increse intensity as you go.

Silent Treatment: What better way to make your Submissive learn their lesson real fast than to not talk to them. Now this one all depends on you and your dynamic. I know I can’t go long woithout talking to Sir. I hate this one most of all because even thoughwe can go a while without talking to one another the silent treament hurts the most and breaks me down to my core. To me beinging ignored is putting you in last place. As if I don’t matter t all and that isn’t even the case. It is just where my mind goes and guess what you guys...it’s normal. That is why it is a punishment. 

Bondage: Tied in different forms or being tied in a kneeling pose having to balance a book on top of their head or hold their hands straight out and balance holding a book for desired amount of time. Using a cage can take bondage to an extreme level as well if desired.

Restrictive Discipline: Taking things away. Of course if you want to take something away you would be wise to take away something they like or enjoy.

-Not being on cell

-Not being able to sleep

-No eye contact

-No eating fav foods

-Not being in same room

Once your Submissive shows they are sorry or you feel they have been disciplined long enough the discipline can be lifted.

Kneeling: It’s a common punishment to make it more extreme have your Submissive or Slave kneel on rice for a chosen amount of time. Legos work as well ha ha ha. 

Lecture and Punishment: Perhaps you feel the only way to learn a lesson is to give them a lecture followed by a punishment. Normally this one goes hand in hand with writting lines.

Mental Bondage: Maybe you require the Sub to stay in the same place for an amount of time where breaking the pose could result in another punisment to follow or added time to disired punishment time.

Pointless Chores: Perhaps your Sub did a little oops and you decided to have a little fun. Make them do a few pointless chores. Such as refolding the towels to give them a nice fluff. Or maybe you want certain cups washed to make sure they have no dust on them. 

Public Humility: Wearing a sign that states the mistake is a safe way to publicly humliate anyone. Other forms could be masterbating in public, nnouncing when their Sub or Slave is horny. Have them walk around with cum in still in them and running down their legs while walking around in public. If you have a Submissive or Slave who like to wear tails maybe make them eat out of pet dishes while out in public. 

         I have one more punishment that comes to mind, but I don’t recommend this one, but if you have a Submissive or Slave who wear a collar...perhaps Remove Collar and forbid the Submissive or Slave from wearing it for a desired amount of time. A collar is a reminder of your bond and if removed for any reason should effect the Submissive or Slave mentally and emotionally as well. Removing of a collar can break a Submissive or Slave within seconds if they truly understand the meaning behind their collar. So be very careful if you do choose to use this punishment.

       Dom’s don’t normally look for reasons to punish their Submissive or Slave. Then again if the Submissive or Slave is acting out. They could just be pushing for a play punishment. So always kee an eye out for cues.

Domestic/Service Submissives

Domestic/Service Submission,

        

          First of all it isn’t always easy to be a Submissive. It does come with self discipline, respect, honesty and love. You have to be 100% honest with your Dominant. You need to be able to trust them 100%. If even just the smallest percent of you doesn’t trust your Dominant or Misstress then your heart, mind, and body will NOT fully submit. There can NOT be any second guessing or things could end terribly wrong and that wouln’t be fair to either of you. So when you hear Submissive it isn’t about just being the partner and getting sex. Actully just like any relationship you will need to do your part, but there is more asked.

        There is far more to service than just the play and sex. Service is an act to make your Dominant’s life easier. A Service Submissive seeks only to serve. Their serving makes them happy and can fin joy in serving. This can include even the minimal tasks. Such as laying out of your Dominat’s clothing while he is in the shower. Maybe even preparing breakfast and a beverage. 

        A Domestic Submissive serves, but for a different reason. Both Domestic and Service Sub’s gain happiness and fulliment out of our services, but the services can be different. Many times a Domestic Submissive will have minimal to no sexual interaction with their Dominate or Owner. 

Some things that come with being a Domestic Sub is 

-Cooking

-Cleaning

-Grooming

-Health

-Personal Trainer

-Pet Care

-Home Repair (fixing. or calling someone to fix)

-Car Repair

-Organization

-Event Planning

-Child Care

-Chauffeur

-Scheduling

-Secretarial

-Intellectual Conversationalist 

Finding meaning or happiness in service isn’t always easy. You have to know what you wnat and don’t want out of a relationship. Once you have idintified what you want and need it’ll be able to figure out your services.

Service Subbmissives seek only to serve. There is happiness found in the Dominate and Submissive when she serves. You have to be able to adapt to whatever needs their partner needs or requires of them.

 Service Submissives would be great at job such as:

Personal Assiant; taking call, answering phones, answering the door, responding/replying to emails. 

Body Servant; bathing, shaving, grooming, and overall health care of the Dominate

Escort; social elitist (ability to bring attention to your Dom), chat about all sots of things such as world topics or it could be to just look beautiful on their arm and to not speak at all unless spoken to. 

It isn’t easy. Some Dom’s leave their Sub’s daily tasks to finish before a certian time of day or till their Dom gets home that day. They could be new tasks or tasks added upon your tasks...either way your job is to get them done