I'm a happy Mommy. Well at least I am happy to be a joint. Am I always smiling? No! Motherhood is not easy. It doesn't come with an instruction manual. I mean yeah I'm here are tons of books are parenting, but those don't always work for every family. In my family I have to still meet up with my Ex and or his wife. Now his wife I don't mind. Her and I talk all the time, but my Ex is another story. I won't go there though because then I'll get cranky and upset and then probably cry. So maybe we will just avoid the topic all together.
Alright...so I am a mother who loves to work, but who also loves being a stay at home mom, but since we moved out into the beautiful country I no longer work as an employee, but as a full time stay at home mommy:). My kids are my pride and joy... It may have to me to marriages to finely be happy with a man. This man though.... Omgoodness... My husband y'all is freaking sexy!!! He comes of intimidating, but once you get to know him and he puts his walks down around you he is a super cool amazing man. He has literally saved my life so many times. I love when as soon as he gets home he gives me kisses and a huge hug. We have three beautiful children. Two girls and a crazy little boy. We started our family in different states. I had left my ex and was on my own with three beautiful little girls. It was us against the world. I was going to make sure to give my girls the best life I could. One day I was checking my Facebook and realized someone had wow on my mother's page. I asked her how she knew my mom and told me how when my mom and her were in the Navy they were each other's birthing coaches when they were pregnant with us. I was all.... No way... And then she said yup it's true. So I asked her who she was pregnant with back then, asked if she had other kids. She and I exchanged number and she started calling maybe every few days. We would just chat... It was so nice to have an adult to talk to since I had just left and cut off anyone I was talking to our close to before the move. If you have toxic people cut them out now. They don't make your life any better. You are who makes their life great. Anyways I sent this guy a friend's request saying "you don't know me, but our mother's were each other birthing coaches when they were pregnant with us. He accepted my request. Omgoodness I hadn't had the butterflies like this in so many years. I was so excited, but so scared because I was hurt before and didn't want to let it happen again. Well since he was stationed in Montana at the time he thought it would be a great way for each other to learn to trust one another. We sent messages back and forth. When I was sleeping he would type me up messages to wake up and read. They were the sweetest things. I would do the same for him as well since we slept at opposite times of the day due to his work schedule. One day he had to run errands and will wanted to talk to me so we switched to texting. Texting turned into long phone calls that were need at times like when I knew he was sleeping. After about maybe three weeks I was feeling changes in me. My walls were falling...I tried so hard to keep them up. Anyways he had asked if he could come visit and meet my girls. I was scared to, but something said to say yes. So I gave him my address and within 10 days and 13ish hours later he was at my front door. He visited for three days and then headed back to Montana for work. While he was here we took the girls to the park, my parents house and that night when I was coming dinner he came back with a box. Inside that ring box was a heart shaped diamond ring. He got down on one knee and promised that even though he had to go back to Montana that he would come back to me and the kids. After he left we will kept in touch. After his contact was up he decided to move out to Washington and live in a little town called Hoquiam. There we lived in my little yellow house with a white picket fence. It was perfect. I was happy. The girls were happy. I had gotten a new job working with a friend as my boss. Things were falling into place. Things were great. Then boom one day I lose my job and a few days later my oldest daughter passed away from a seizure in the middle of the night. My world crashed and broke. I was broken all over again. I wanted nothing to do with anyone. Shock numbed my body. I couldn't think. I couldn't focus. My daughter passed and because my ex and his family and friends were placing false reps with CPS. CPS took my other two girls. I had to fight for a year to get them back. So in one day I lost all my children. I was dead inside. I didn't want to eat. I didn't want to be with my boyfriend, but being the amazing man he is he gave me three days off space and told me that was all I was getting and that we would work through this together... And we did. Two weeks later we moved to the beach. Omgoodness I love the beach. Feeling the sand between your toes with every step you take. It is where I first started healing. The beach helped me think, but at the same time clear my mind. The apartment was fine while we were trying to get my girls back, but then we found an adorable rental house. Once we did the parenting classes, meetings, drug tests and more. I was gonna do whatever they needed so I could have my girls back home. They timed our visits. It sucked and hurt so much. That Christmas we found out I was pregnant. I cried. Omgoodness I was not ready for this roller coaster at all. Once the case was closed we moved out of county because I was so hurt. Nothing good ever came out from that area. I mean it took them forever to finalize my divorce. It was ridiculous. Three years!!! Three years I had to fight to get away from my ex. I was so glad when I moved. I felt I could breathe. Kids all started school and we doing great, but then I wasn't happy. I was still hurt and broken over my daughter. Although it has been almost ten years and still have days where I'm not doing much and get to thinking.... Yeah never a good thing when I get to thinking;). Hahaha... Anyways after my divorce was finalized my boyfriend and I filed to get married. So after two years of dating we got married. It wasn't huge, but it snowed, I was happy and I was with the man I knew I truly loved and who truly loved me. Anyways now we are in a house with plenty of time, a huge yard and great schools. Life in the country is great compared to the city. The stars are huge and beautiful. I hear frogs croaking at night and it's amazing. So relaxing... As long as my ex stays away.
Anyways now you know a little about how I ended up where I am. Although because of my Husband...I wouldn't have my life any other way. Unless one day my dream come true and my ex gives up his rights so we can live an even better life with no stress or drama.
So a couple weeks ago I got some tests done since I was sick with a cold for a while. At least a month an a half. So I got reports back with results. One came back with bad news. So Monday I go in to schedule my surgery to get a hysterectomy. Why in the world would I do such a crazy thing at such a young age??? Because the doctors found cancer in my uterus, the lining and my cervix and my overies are covered in cysts. So we are just going to have it all removed....
But the reason I called this at first you don't succeed... Is because as a mother you can't give up. You gotta fight for your kids (Sometimes with them), and you gotta make it through each day because you never know when you could loose one. So love your children, love your kids, family and your entire life because some times your life isn't as bad or hard as others. Fight for the ones you love and who truly love you. Communication is a great factor too;). Never give up though. If you fall... Sit there... Eat a piece of cake and try again....Till tomorrow everybody
Have a great day everyone! Hopefully this time with the blogging I will be more successful than last time¯\_(ツ)_/¯ we shall find out together
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