Life gets busy in relationships

 Ever promise someone you’ll message them or call them and then the day just passes by? It happens. Don’t even bothering beating yourself over it. My boyfriend and I had to go a couple weeks without seeing each other after he got off work. It wasn’t he or I couldn’t make the time. It was there was just so much going on, on both our ends that just made it to where things didn’t workout. So when we get to see each other long enough to get coffee we enjoy it. 

My Master has been more possessive lately and omg I love it. He has me wearing all my cuffs at work. My collar, my wrist cuffs and ankle cuffs! Normally he only has me wear my ankle cuffs when he and I are home together and not working. I’ll admit I love it. 

Making time to spend with one another is important. Even if you send texts to check in, see how ones day is going or to make plans, you are making time for each other. I understand not everyone likes spending time together, but when y’all first started seeing one another y’all enjoyed it. So use this time to find those sparks again. 

New Boyfriend

So my Master used to give me a hard time about being around this guy. The guy and I used to spend 8 hrs together, several days a week. So when I would see my Husband he would ask, “how’s your boyfriend?” Well he kept doing it so the guy and I ran with it. Now occasionally we might get to spend an hour together. 3 hours a week total if all is well and time allows it. Sometimes it’s a hi and bye. It’s not always easy, but it’ll work itself out. With My Master and Boyfriend starting/finishing school it makes time with either of them less and less. So I have buried myself in work and house chores. A clean house makes a happy Master☺️.

It’s been a while...

So it has been a little while since I last posted a blog. A lot has happened...

So when I first started this blog it was about weight loss. Well I am now down 150lbs before my weight loss surgery. Covid-19 kinda Pit that’s on hold for the time so I’m still trying to lose more and keep toning. 

Also, I got a job being a cocktail server. Absolutely love my job!

As for relationship’s...

    I am married to my Master as you all know and I have a FWB. Both take great care of my needs and in different ways. Time with each of them is spent differently. I get maybe 3 hours a week with my boyfriend if we are lucky. Sometimes meeting up doesn’t work, but that’s because he has his own family and responsibilities. As I too have my family to tend to when I’m needed

My Friend with Benifits...

      So as I may have mentioned before, my Master and I have opened our marriage.  I had met a few guys to see if they would be a good fit for me, but most set my anxiety into full gear; and lets face it, anything that causes anxiety is never any good. Well....I have picked the one I want and who wants to please me in the ways I need satisfied. My Master does satisfy me. Let’s get that straight right now, but my second Dominate leaves what I call “beauty marks”.

      He has shown me that he RESPECTS me. Let’s talk about a big way Dominates show RESPECT...Say you have both agreed to a scene or meet up. However you want to look at it. I look at it as hanging out lol. So one day my friend with benefits came over and I was still new to the open marriage idea. I felt like it was a trap every time. Even with PERMISSION from my Master, I still felt like it was wrong. There are still days where I feel it is wrong. Well one day I ended up using my safe word because my anxiety was all boom I’m back b***h!!! Ugh it was hell for me in my head that day and I’m not sure why it happened, but all the sudden I said the safeword and he stopped. He stopped everything and tried to make sure I was okay. A Dominate who cares is a true Dom. Of course with the mind set I was in I pushed him out and away for a bit. He still messaged me and we talked. I kept him at a distance for about three weeks before he figured out what was going on in my mind. I will admit I do love that we can talk, It is good to be able to talk to your dominate’s. 

      Yes, I am now putting the “friend with benefits/playmate” as a Dominate (Dominant #2). I don’t do this lightly either and he and I have made it clear that our families will ALWAYS come first. Honestly, I expect nothing less, but will very much enjoy the time I do get with him. I want to talk about today because today we talked about how I was offered a chance to get spanked while bent over a bench. You are probably asking and thinking...Why in the world would you want to be spanked?!?!? Two words...stress reliever. Lol. No joke though. BDSM is NOT about pain though! Let’s make that perfectly clear. Anyways...we chatted and he asked me “Are you going to go?” First though “that’s a freaking trick question!!!” Last time I played with someone without telling him, he told me he was hurt. I didn’t tell him though. That was my biggest oops. Won’t ever make that oops again. I was honest with him though about this and did tell him that the bench had excited me, but then I had admitted to having a small “string” attachment. I thought for sure he was going to cut me or put more time between our visit. Instead he told me we could build a bench; and that made me happy. Not only would I still get the experience and the spankings, but I would get to have the experience with someone I know and TRUST. Getting me to TRUST is already hard. We also agreed if drama happened on either side we would put a stop to us as well. 

      When another man is willing to earn your trust, have patience with you, learn your likes and dislikes, respects boundaries and limits, one who gives you space when you need it, one who is willing to give you what you need is on worth giving a shot to. This one is also willing to check in on me and the kids while my Master is out of state; for a visual that all is okay. Normally that wouldn’t be allowed, but my Master TRUSTS Dominant #2. 

      Thank you Master and Dominate #2 for being patient with me. You are both great men 

Trust

        Trust is a touchy subject with some, but to me it is important. Let me ask you a question. I want you to stop and really think about it too. 

Do you trust your partner with your life? 

Think about it hard. 

Now ask yourself do you trust yourself? 

I want you to really sit and think. 

    Now I can tell you that I trust my Master. In fact I trust him with my life. I also know if anything happened he is the first person I go to and the first person who would show up. We tell each other everything.

Can you tell your spouse/partner/Dom everything? Can you truly be 100% honest with them? Can you hand them your phone unlocked and let them open whatever app or messages they wanted to. If you can’t hand it over without worry then you either need to learn to trust yourself or you are hiding something. 

I will admit it is hard for me to let my Master go through my phone, But that is cause of my past. Has nothing to do with hiding anything because I keep no secrets from my Master. In order to have that trust there needs to be honesty and communication.

Bulls

    Do you know what a "Bull" is? Do you know what they do? Do you know their wants; their desires? Well a Bull is a man who engages in sex with a woman whose partner enjoys the cuckold dynamic. Normally the Wife is considred a "Hot Wife"

Our 100th post!!!

    Look everybody!!! This is my 100th post!!! To those that have followed me from the start. I appreciate you all and all your support. There were some bumps along the way, but we are doing great and still standing strong. This has been fun and hopefully has been informative. Just because one person is into BDSM doesn't make them a bad person. In fact it is scientifically proven that it is actually very healthy.

    I think today we are going to talk about the difference between Domestic Violence and the touch of a Dominant. I think there is a HUGE difference and it needs to be known. Abuse and fear go hand in hand, but fear can also cause arousal. Which is why partners need to be careful and always keep an eye out for red flags. Abuse is unwanted contact. It's punches and slaps to the face that are received out of anger. It's hitting and touching of any part of the body that isn't asked for. An abuser will be little you 

    When a Dom touches ones body it is aggressively, but at the end there is aftercare and love. Or at least care. Which could be taking a shower together, tending to any wounds or marks that were left.  Dom's leave marks, but all the marks they leave are wanted, begged for, asked for. The Sub still wears a smile on their face even when out  and about with their Dom. It is the want and the craving. The ravishing...man handling. It's fun and consensual. 

   In the back of your mind I feel if you question it, then most likely you need to do some serious thinking about your relationship, but BDSM relationships will talk about what is consensual and what is not. They discuss limits. I mean it takes a lot of trust to even Submit to someone. I mean like you need to know you can trust them with YOUR life.