Cheaters...
What more can we say about a topic that is not only all too familiar to many, but a subject which has been beaten to death repeatedly?
Lying, disgusting, filthy piece of trash. Yup, that sums it up.
What makes a girl think it is ok to use somebody in that way? while I am sure there is a laundry list full of reasons in which some have attempted to justify their action, there is absolutely no good reason to have done that to another living being.
Want to walk a mile in somebody else's shoes, let me show you how. You meet her one day at a bar or maybe even a house party, a friend introduces the two of you and immediately you hit it off. You talk, the night Fades away into the distance faster than it arrived. A quick exchange of numbers and you go your separate ways. As time progresses you become friends, you trust one another, you tell each other your secrets, your fears and your insecurities period and then one day it happens, she makes the first move, she sends you a flirty message and when you respond back the phone rings, and who is on the other end, none other than your best friend. Quick pleasantries rapidly turn into her confessing that she has feelings for you deeper than that just a friend. You yourself, had been feeling the same toward her only two weeks earlier, and the News hits you like a ton of bricks to the chest. Could this be happening, could it be real, is something that I imagined actually coming through and in remarkable time? Is this a dream, wake up man, wake up time to open your eyes, what is actually happening here, did that actually just come out of her mouth? You talk but a few moments and the feeling inside of you is so overwhelming that that ear-to-ear smile is now unbreakable as you hang up the phone. The romance begins almost instantaneously, and before you know it, the feelings are overwhelming. Long talks on the phone, date nights seem to go on forever, that first kiss, the first time you say I love you, the first time you cuddle on the couch and she falls asleep in your arms, and that first time you are intimate. The sex is absolutely amazing, the girl you have been confessing everything to 4 months, is now the woman lying in front of you, beautiful body completely at your mercy, waiting for you to do as you please with it. You have never felt the sensation like this before, it is more than just lust, this is something different. You start talking about the future, maybe getting married one day and starting a family, the house you would like to live in and where you would like to move to. You start considering getting a place together because let's face it, at this point you are head over heels for this girl and the only thing that makes sense, is living with her so this can be your all day everyday reality. So now what? The two of you get a place, you move in together and things are amazing. She gets home from work a little bit earlier than you do, you come home to the smell of dinner on the stove, her looking absolutely delicious in that pair of heels wearing nothing but an apron and a smile. As you wrap your arms around her and kiss her neck, spinning her around and throwing her up on the counter to have yourself an appetizer if you will, you realize that this is your absolute dream scenario. Your dream girl, an overwhelming sense of happiness and love, and a life being built together. But then she starts dressing a little bit differently before work, all the sudden her lunch hour becomes "consumed with work", and the hour the two of you used to spend on the phone talking to each other, has now become a single quick text message after lunch is already over. She starts working a little bit of overtime, going out with the girls almost nightly, making excuses for why she is returning home late, and the first thing she does as she walks through the door, as walk straight into the shower. You notice the activity starting to make a slight change but you love her so you don't read too much into it. and then one day, while out doing one of your favorite things to do as a couple, she seemingly has no interest in doing it any longer, seems a little lethargic and just wants to go home. You get home and all she wants to do is go to bed, the lust you once shared for each other when you do that one little thing she likes, seems to not be prevalent anymore. And here it comes, Are you ready for it? Life is about to change with a few simple words, you think you're strong, the world sees you as Superman but here it comes anyway, you ask her what the problem is and while shy at first, she turns around to you with those big eyes filled with tears, telling you that she loves somebody else. You see, this would be the ideal scenario. She actually takes the time, acts as a responsible woman, faces you and tells you that she wants to move on, but most are not this fortunate, they are lied to, sometimes for a short period of time, sometimes for a year or better. They have been sneaking. Around and engaging in a physical and emotional relationship right under your nose. You loved her, you never suspected this to happen, the idea had never even crossed your mind because after all, she was the one who hit you up and told you what you meant to hurt. yet here we are, the line, the deception, all the girls nights out, all the times you kissed her gently on her forehead and told her to have a great night, all called into question. Was everything she ever told you a lie? Wish you really visiting her friend a few miles down the road? Did she in fact go to that women's retreat and sip pina coladas and get massages? She did come back with an awfully nice tan but they could have been spending time around. In that moment everything you thought you knew. was it all in vain, did you change everything about yourself, the way you were living, your Social Circle, even your haircut, for a woman who was playing you all along? How long has this been going on and is this only the first time that you have caught her in these lies, or were you simply not as lucky the previous times? It was all for nothing. The home you had built together was built on a bed of Lies, the people she had introduced you too, we're helping her cheat on you the entire time. Meeting her family, naming the dog, the new car, all the furniture, even down to your brand new big screen TV, absolutely valueless. But what are you to do? You are after all, a stand-up gentleman and you want to do what is right. Do you allow your hurt and your anger for the situation to metastasize to something greater, do you yell and scream, do you tell her to get out, or do you simply tuck your tail in between your legs, leave her with everything, and start fresh?
Only you can answer these questions, because much like suicide, being cheated on is not the actual problem, it is everything else that comes with it, the feelings of insecurity, the hurt, the Heartbreak, wondering if you were ever worth it as now the insecurities pour out of you with an Unstoppable Force. will you ever be the same, will you ever love again, will you ever find all of the pieces that shattered and Phillip on the floor when you're heartbroken that moment and be able to piece it back together? some theorize that the easiest way to get over somebody is to get under somebody new, unfortunately that is not always the case, when you fell, you fell hard, and now everything you do reminds you of her, a stranger passing by that happens to be wearing the same perfume, the commercial you used to make so much fun of every time it would come on TV, that cute little song she would seeing as she danced around in the front seat while wearing your hat, all of these things now make you sick to your stomach. You don't eat, you don't sleep, you fall into such a severe state of depression that you often wonder if life is worth going on. You try reaching out to those you have always trusted, but at this point they want nothing to do with you either because not only are you no longer the person they used to know and love, but they were placed on the back burner for a relationship that did not even work out. When it's all said and done, it is a dirty, nasty, filthy and foul thing to do to somebody. Seeking Comfort outside of your own relationship without the dynamic being part of it, is one of those things that is not easily forgiven, if EVER.
A word of advice, communication is a key that will open many many doors in life, communication is one of the single most important keys to success in a relationship, communication could have allowed your partner to understand where you are coming from and instead of seeking refuge in the arms of another, if it were purely an emotional thing or instead of running off and allowing somebody else to be intimate with you, you could have simply discussed the issues or feelings you had and made things better, or at least been woman enough to admit that you were no longer happy and did not want things to continue moving forward. Moral of the story is, a real WOMAN would never cheat on a man, just as a MAN would never cheat on his woman.
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