Long Distant Relationships...

      How many of you are out there on Tinder, P.O.F., Match.com, eHarmony...ect??? Or maybe you are searching on Facebook or a more kinky site (once again we will go to all that stuff within time)

   Long distance relationships aren't easy, but if done right and truthfully it can work out.

    Long ago during a divorce an amazing woman found her old time best friend. With everything going on at the time I guess I was just nosey. I asked her lots of questions and then she told me about her kids. Well technically only one of them was still in kid age...lol. The guys were very much adults, but still kids at heart in their individual areas. She told me about how when her and my Mother were pregnant with Sir and me. How the Navy moved us all apart over time.

   It is crazy to think how small this world is, but the fact that she found my Mother after so much time is amazing. It's like things were made to work out and our families meant to be together. I was living on my own with my 3 girls. Had our own little cute house to just the 4 of us girls with a white picket fence. It wasn't the town I wanted to be in, but the house was adorable at the time and perfect for me and the kids. We loved playing in the yard on the sunny days. So many good memories.

   I sent Sir a message saying "Hey you don't know me, but our Mom's were each other's birthing coaches when they were pregnant with us". I wasn't hitting on him or anything because honestly at that time I didn't want a relationship. I even told him that and what all I had gone through. I told him I just wanted a guy friend I could talk to because let's face it talking to a guy is way less drama than having any girlfriends. We stayed friends for some time and then eventually started falling for each other. The feelings I have for him I had never felt before. They were great, but scary because of my past. I didn't want to get hurt again.

     We started with messages on facebook. We would leave each other messages saying good morning or good night. His letters were so sweet. Our sleep was total opposite because he was working graveyard. There were many times his Mom would catch me on facebook staying up late chatting with him. Mama knew I had kids and always made sure the kids and I were doing well. I loved how she always called to chat. It meant and still means a lot when she calls. I'm not a material person. Do I like to be spoiled?! Sure it's nice, but to feel what real love is, is amazing and sometimes scary. After messages we moved to texting and then my favorite part, but day long phone calls. There was one call I remember it being 5 days long. Then his phone died and well we are just lucky Verizon never cut our services off. What about when we were asleep??? We would keep each other on the cell and just mute our sides. I found it to be sweet and it wasn't sexual at all. Talking to him back then and even today it still brings a smile on my face. Enjoy the little things in life. It makes things easier.

    When in a long distance relationship we really have to learn to open up and to trust. I was nowhere near trusting anyone after Dum-Dum and everything he and his Mom put me through. So I asked him tons of questions and when I say a ton I mean more than normal and real deep. We talked about our past and future. Where we were in life and where we wanted to go. We would text all the time. Even when Sir was at work. He always made sure I knew what he was doing and i would tell him what I was doing. Although let's face it...as a single Mom you don't get to go paces often when you can't drive. If I could walk there though with all the kids then I went. Which for me was two stores. So I walked the walk often, but that is besides the point.

When you open up in a relationship it can be very scary. It can also scare others away. If you truly want a relationship to work you have to be 100% honest though. You have to be willing to give the time and effort to one another. Even if it is just a quick text. Long distance doesn't work for everyone though. Especially when they are scared because of all the hurt they have been through before. When opening up we need to know each other. We need to learn about one another. Sometimes our past is scary and we don't want to share it, but we do hoping it won't be held against us. Not everyone is perfect after all. Say they have a bad past and it scares you. You can't hold that against them though or you won't be able to see how must they have changed for the better. If they have changed. Sometimes it is a learning curve we have to work around. You can't bring it up though. You gotta leave the past in the past. Focus on the now and future. If you can overlook the past and move forward then the relationship can be an amazing, but as long as you hold someone's past against them then your relationship will go nowhere. In fact no relationship will work if you hold it against him. Like I said....nobody is perfect.

    Sometimes when we have been hurt by others before we don't want to give them the trust. We don't want to show our pain. I get it...it hurts to talk about and relive. I get that too. Which is one reason i started this blog. We will ALWAYS have something to learn about when it comes to our partner. You gotta learn to really trust and accept. It isn't easy after being hurt. When you are long distant visits between the two of you always help too. It's always nice when you get to see your partner in person

   Sir came and visited on a few days of leave. We went and visited my parents so Sir and my Mom could catch up. At that time I was still iffy on taking him, but i also missed my family and Dum-Dum never took me and the kids to visit them. We chatted the whole way there and he held my hand and gave it lots of kisses.  He opened my door for me and was super sweet. He had my birthday gift which was a ring I told him I was going to buy for myself. He told me not to buy it so I didn't. Low and behold he used it as my promise ring on our last night of his visit. Sir had to head back to base. He had work the next day and still had a long drive ahead of him. So after making him and my girls chicken Alfredo for dinner I was starting to clean up and next thing I knew when I turned around he was down on his knee. He said "I have no idea how to do this, but I already know I want to spend forever with you and your girls. I want us to stay in touch even when I go back to the base. I want us to eventually spend forever with you. That much I know." I looked down and was in shock...I of course said yes. I knew we were going to be able to make things work. How did I know though???

    Long distance is tricky, but what Sir and I have not many people have. Many people do say that they wish they could have what we have though. The reason why is because when a guy comes in and sweeps us off our feet after we have been hurt and want to show us the world we get scared. We think it is to good to be true. So we start to push them away or go quiet. Sometimes we even ghost them. Take it from me...don't ever ghost someone. It is worse than getting a break up text and childish. Childish children do NOT need to be in any relationship. Long distance takes work. It takes honesty, trust, and communication. It also take a lot of letting go of the past.

    Communication is a big thing that many couples these days don't have. Losing the communication and no longer talking is where the relationship starts to crumble. It's where secrets slowly creep in and those are definitely not something you want in your marriage. (secrets in a relationship...coming soon). Don't run cause of a past unless it is abusive. Real MEN change and become better than they were before and don't go back to old ways. A BOY will change and then go back to his ways within time. If two people want it to really work then you gotta talk about how you feel, what's on your mind. You can't just go quiet. Then they definitely won't workout. If you are hurt or are stressed your partner should be the one you want to talk toor be able to have there for you to talk to.


Well the power transmitter just blew so I gotta cut this one short before the laptop dies since I didn't charge it or my cell.


#LongDistanceCanWork