Friendships...

    Yup friendships are a type of relationship...

 So how many of you have a best friend? Do you have one best friend or many? How long have they been in your life? How well do they know you? Do they know who you really are inside and out?

    As a kid our best friends are supposed to be our parents. Once we hit second grade we start making friends and find a best friend in school. My second grade best friend has known me since we were kids. We still talk here and there, but nowhere near as much we did as kids. When one moves you gotta start over...not always an easy task. In your teens you eventually find a new best friend because a lot in life is changing. Once everyone is all graduated everyone goes their separate ways, but what about when you are in a really dark place in your mind? Do you have a person who is ALWAYS there for you to lend an ear, a shoulder, a phone call, a body?!?!?! 

    I do...and I want to tell you about her. She is amazing. If I was a guy I wouldn't let her go. As a gal I still keep her. She has a great job and totally supports herself. See she came into my life when I had told my Heavenly Father that I wanted a better life for my kids. I was a mess in my head. I was leaving my ex, living on my own with 3 girls, and was looking for work. Well I met her at church one day. I have a big heart and didn't like her sitting by herself so I asked if I could sit next to her and keep her company. Well one day lead to more Sunday's and getting to hang out. Well one day she got a little crazy and hired me. Lol. 
    Now don't get me wrong working for her was great. I loved the job, I loved the area because it was in the middle of nowhere, but it wasn't for me so she let me go. Now when she did this she made sure I knew that she didn't want it to ruin our friendship. 
        A few days after she let me go my oldest passed away during her sleep from a seizure. I didn't know who else to call. I was broken. I had my boyfriend and her to hold me that day. Later my Mother and Step-Dad made it. It was to late though and they had already placed my girls where I knew it wouldn't be safe. So I fought hard to get my girls back home. There she was....by my side along with Sir. There to support me. Nobody had seen me broken till that moment in my life. 
    Many years later she is still my number one call after Sir. The fact that she has been there during the hard times and is still by my side today means a lot. Right now even today I am changing and she is coming to terms with it because it is who I am. She was apart of me and came as a part of me when I decided to finally start my family again. Yup...if he couldn't accept her as my kids Aunt then they weren't staying. She at the time knew me better than I knew myself. Now I get to show her how much I paid attention all these years with her next journey. One day I will be taking pictures of her at her wedding and crying tears. She is going to make someone a very happy and lucky man.

    Not everyone has a person, but if Sir wasn't around she is who I would call my person and honestly we all need a person because as we grow up and mature we need to know we have someone we know we can always trust. With me being me and having a big heart I try to be there for others when they need someone to talk to or lean on. I like helping fix. Marriages for instant...No marriage is perfect, but if you come to me for advice I am there. I don't believe in giving up. Especially when it comes to family. 

    What if you have family that is missing? I am not talking about death though. We lose people to death everyday when we are old or young. Although being able to prepare for it helps we can't always get that option.

   What if you find them and want to build at least a friendship with them? What if you aren't enough for them? What if they don't like you?  What if you weren't told information to keep you safe? What do you do when you feel a part of you has been missing for years and you find it? What if you make a move and leave the ball in their court?!?!?! 

    I honestly don't know what to tell you or myself in this case because I don't know my biological father at all. I couldn't find any information on him and didn't even know where to start since you can't just get into U.S. Navy information...lol. Now I started asking questions when I was 11. I got a name!!! It was a first name, but it was a start. So I knew a name and knew he was in the Navy. Then one day years later I heard the Kellie Pickler song "I Wonder". In the song it is talking about her Mom, but to me I would sing it as if I was singing it to my father. I still do to this day too. It hurts to say that because my Step-Dad held me through some of my seizures, but once I really needed a Dad he wasn't there the way I needed him. He didn't and doesn't know my love language. My heart has been broken many times over the years, don't get me wrong and I know I wasn't an easy kid or teen because of all the bullying I was going through and never told them about because I had hoped it would go away, but it never did. The scar on my face, my weight, the clothes I wore....I was NEVER good enough for the kids in school. So all in all I HATED school!!! I hated going home just to be in my room because my grades were failing because I couldn't understand the material no matter how hard I tried. I have to try a lot harder than the normal person. My brain is not where it should be. So I NEED people to have that extra patience with me. I needed that praise on the little things since I couldn't do the big things. 

 Now almost 32 years later there is still a door that still sits there untouched waiting to see if anyone will ever knock on it's door. 
     
    22 years later I finally found someone who I was finally enough for. He makes me smile even when we were states apart. He took time to get to know me and I have recently put a ball back in someone's court. Now I have to wait to see what they do.  Waiting is the worst lol. I have already waited so many years and now I still gotta wait. When someone takes the extra time to know you though in the end they become worth it. I am still learning things about my Husband and maybe it is because I forget because on my memory issues, but he still treats it as if it is the first time of me finding out. He doesn't make me feel dumb. Sometimes forgetful, but all in fun. His family all love me and treat me as one of the family. I found where I am accepted. He tells me when he is proud of me. His Mom tell me too. Even if it is just picking stuff up around the house or cooking something new. I got acceptance as a kid from my Mom, my Auntie, Granny and Grandma. 
    
    My Grandma I swear was the glue at some point. Once she passed everything started falling apart. I don't blame her for it falling apart though. She left us all unexpectedly. i remember tanning in my their boat with her. Tea time...my first virgin drink...omgoodness those were sour lol. All my memories with her are happy though. 

    My Mom and I have had some hard times(all my fault), but she has always been there. Mother and Daughter dates at Home Depot were a blast. Trips to the cabin in the summer, walks on the trains tracks (even though the tunnel scared me),  I have many good memories with my Mom as well and well last is my favorite Auntie...

 Now my Auntie is amazing and has an amazing man, great kids who I am very grateful for to have in my life. All my memories with them are great too. 4th of july's in their yard, Family Thanksgiving and Christmas get togethers...football games!!! Oh my goodness I love how much they get into the games! I love watching sport games with people who can get into the games. It just makes it more fun. We used to celebrate my birthday on Thanksgiving. Yup...happy memories. 

    Now I am in a house with land and I now do my holidays at home with my little family that I made. I love cooking for the holidays and having family over. It is more relaxing than driving somewhere at times.

    Friendships are the foundation of your relationships. It doesn't matter if you are a friend or parent (ANY FAMILY MEMBER) you do need that foundation strong. Let your children, nieces, nephew's,  know you are there for them. You as a parent or whatever don't need to be your child's friend, but they do need to know that you are there for them. They need to know even if they are all in their heard that they can turn and talk to you. If your child can't trust you then they won't turn to you. 

    Now today is all about best friends...But I want you to think in your head...Do I have a person? Do you have a best friend? Do you have someone who shines you and helps you show your worth? Do you have that special person you can to no matter what??? Do you have someone who ALWAYS has your back? Are you someone else's safe place? If not how can you apply yourself to let someone know and to prove to them that you are there for them. 

    I am here for many people. All different reasons and some the same reasons. I am so happy to be their safe place that they can go to. It is an honor to know that somewhere in life you were their person and that you got to help them. Helping others is a way of paying it forward. Anyone else here seen that movie??? Yeah I thought so. So while the outside world is cruel and ugly so them the kindness and love that you have to share. 


    So my challenge is this...
        
       Get to know someone you don't know. If you haven't talked to family, then put the ball in their court and see what they do. Random acts of kindness are the best way to pay it forward. It doesn't have to be anything huge. It could be as simple as a text, passing someone and smiling, maybe covering someones groceries if they are short a few dollars...Maybe you have new neighbors...What you do on this planet now is what matters now and could affect the future in a good way...

    Now if you have a good foundation you can lean on each other. Need that person at 2am? Who is it? Do you know for sure that they will pick up? I know I'll pick up...